Will Never Leave W.N.L

Life in Langkawi is very fun, but sad as well, being far apart from my bee, i miss you a lot!! Not just normal a lot but is a lot and more a lot,i love her so much!!!!!!!! I don’t know why? But time will take place, sooner, this will goes different, but i promise, how different will or or going to be, i will still only love you no others, only you and will be you, cause i love you!! Im fear, fear you will run away from me, cause of something happens here, i scare you will be like that, i don’t want, and i don’t wish that will happen!! Argh!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today,

look into the eye,

i feel there is so much to tell,

but a kiss would do all the job,

your hand,

give me a nice hug,

it always making magic,

love magic!!

by giving me a nice hug,

a simple pinch on my hand.

a very simple holding hand, smile, hug and kiss,

makes my heart warm up,

makes me happy!^^

a simple way to show you that i love you,

is to tell you i love you bee,

look into that two small round little eye,

hope that you wouldnt push me away,

and keep me back, telling me i love you as well,

things just started not long ago,

and i going go leave you alone,

is not fair for you,

but this might be 1 of our challenge,

see do we have the faith to last long,

i believe we do,

the changes you made,

the love you give me,

i dont know im living in a dream, or what i should say?

heaven

just to say i love you~

Today I'm happy,

Cause i got to see you,

Cause i got to hug you tight,

Cause i know you better more,

Cause there is no time between us already,

today's outing was quite complicated from the start,

but everything when very smoothly,

i sense your present all time!!

you look at me every moment,

for what is surprising is,

you bring me back to school,

my high school,

was very very experience want,

wearing normal clothing walking around the school,

just like a super star walking at the roadside,

everybody keep on stare at me,

damn im shit up,

then you seated on my lap,

wow,

pingpong guys keep on drop their ball,

aiks,

never see people dating before ma?

go find yourself 1,

then you said maybe they dont have,

you are a bad girl~

To my honey bee~

Thank you awhy for giving everything that I want,

Sweet memory has already start,

And love that is not just love that simple,

I feel that is more than just love~

I will appreciate it badly~

When I’m sad,

You are there to make sure there is nothing to sad for,

Then you quickly make me happy again,

Even you don’t know what to do.

^^

Couple of drink with friend and all about you~

Last night I have couple drink with my friends,

Went not right,

So I stopped,

Because I promise somebody to look after myself, (my liver)

So I went back home early,

Call my baby,

Then she is in the phone with somebody,

So I waited, for my turn,

Turns up, she is not alright too, drinking because I’m drinking,

I’m sorry that I make your heart pain,

Because you told me that,

You drink because your pain,

You want to get hang over and feel better,

But Bee you are wrong, the best way is to talk to me,

Don’t know I should get happy or I shouldn’t,

Wake up this morning I saw her blog,

She was so missing, until a sudden,

Everything in her mind is clear,

Willing to be with me even a huge 6 month,

I don’t know I should get angry at her or I should just love her more,

You make me very the flying high and low sometime~

But I like it~

To my girl~<3 AWHY!!

I will not hide, I will not even denied,

What happens in 17 June 2009,

1537,

We are together,

Me and Amanda,

Once again,

After years of loving me,

I’m happy you finally found me,

In all kind of situation I having right now,

Sad,

You find me,

Make me happy,

Sad,

I call you,

You make me even happier,

Things that will hurt our relationship,

You changed, because of me,

Things that will make my health getting worst,

You want me to change,

Because you cares about me,

Hsueh Yan, you accept whoever I’m,

Smoker, drinker, playboy, poor, idiot, and worst,

Because of love?

Fear inside your heart,

That I plant for few years back,

But you still want me,

Because of love?

Showing me how important I’m to you,

You will get what I have, heart.

Starting it goes well but soon harsh~

My half year trip is coming,

But I don’t wish to know about it,

I just want to put my entire mind,

On how can I meet up with you,

Pictures that make me think about you,

Making me worst sec by sec,

Love is very special things,

It pulls us together,

And

Push us away,

And

Again now we are together,

Maybe our attitude is different,

You are a cute quite girl when I look at you,

I’m annoying, talkative boy,

But sometime I also run out of topic,

I just miss you eventually by just looking at the picture,

Just wish so much that I could go and give you a tight hug as I said,

But I don’t know.. Maybe that time I already shy somehow..

This will be very tongue for either of us,

I might giving you less attention,

Cause I’m out for work already,

But I will promise to put as much time as I could on you,

Things that have been promise must kept it promised,

All in a sudden I wish I’m not going so far to work,

ARGH!!

Life is so difficult.

Pictures==

Sigh,

Somebody find me and chat,

Feel like the old days,

With no barrier,

Sending me pictures,

Looking at it over and over again,

Make me fall deeper and deeper,

Not loving it,

But heart breaking,

Only you and me know the stories,

I don’t know why.. ==

DAMN!!!

Luckily tomorrow if purchasing and English,

Which means I only have to study 1 subject purchasing..==

Over boots, on day 14 15 16 of june~

2days slept less than 2hour,

3days slept less than 4 hours,

Today,

Early the morning go for 2 bottle of Red Bull!!



i like the word at the bottom of the bottle,
BULLLEH!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!






Is it enough?

I don’t think so..

Just got the feeling of starting up

Hmm.. Doesn’t matter la,

As long as I can stay focus of my paper then is alright,

Go cc,

Play dota,

Out of focus jor,

Keep on dying,

Omg!!

FUCK!!

Okie come back home,

Go have a cup of coffee~

CAFFIN!!

I want ton of it!!

Argh

Bounce back when is started,

Day before exams, 14 JunE (my name!! weeee)

In the night, couldn’t sleep,

Thinking of somebody and something,

Things go very harsh and so on,

Lay down on 4am, but sleep on 5am,

Brother woke me up at 6am then I sleep back

After that 7am I got to go school,

Damn… I feeling tired

On the day at school,

Having my marketing and accounting,

Before the exam very the good boy ahhhh,

Went to the library,

Study accounting,

Good boy like hell,

Keep on look at the book,

Damn I don’t know who I am,

Luckily that time nothing came across my head,

I’m happy, weeeeeee

After exam, go back home,

Saw my bed,

Owhh I miss you baby~

Sleep down,

All in a sudden,

With my dirty shirt,

Sleep less than 1 hour,

*ringring..RINGRING..*

Halo??

GOR!!!! My bf don’t like I call him!!

In my mind saying, *what the………… argh fine…*

Talk talk talk,

She happy already close phone, *tuuuuuuuuuuuuuu*

Half an hour gone,

Then I want to sleep back in,

Cannot le.. die die..

Never mind, go wash face

STUDY TIME!!

In front is my laptop, book at the side,

Hand on keyboard,

FACEBOOK!!!

Who the hell create facebook ahh?

Then I don’t care la facebook only…..

Until the night,

Only got 1 or two things in my mind for the exam today, beverage,

~Until the next day~

My paper was at noon go to school morning!!

WHAT THE HELL IM DOING?

Fine,

Sit with my friends,

Two girl only me a little guy there,

Could not concentrate

Buy red bull

Blablabla, on top la..

They did note,

I study their note,

Easy to remember, but damn,

Few of them that I studied,

Never came out,

Never mind.

I'm sorry

I don’t know what to talk when you find me,

I’m sorry,

I don’t know what to do when you say you miss me,

So I say that is funny,

I’m sorry,

I don’t know what to do when you are in the worst time,

So I just help you get through it but not over,

But never help much, and cough myself in fire,

I’m sorry,

What I have been doing lately?

Why I’m not helping but causing,

I feel very selfish,

I feel I should totally leave this alone,

I feel………….

There is a lot of question deep down my heart,

But I don’t know what question is that,

Who is willing to find it out for me?

Argh things have been changing so fast,

I can only adapt each thing at a time,

But not all everything,

Cause I’m not born for it,

My friends have a love story,

Happy to see them happily,

Finding a beautiful angel what I’m waiting,

Is not easy, but not hard,

Angel has wings,

Aren’t they tired of flying away from you?

So they just choose to stay on ground where you flied till to,

That is our life,

Find where his or her location is,

But

There is a person which is so stupid,

Could not find the angel even is just in front of you,

Giving you a hand which will bring you up to heaven,

This is what we call human

I'm sorry

I don’t know what to talk when you find me,

I’m sorry,

I don’t know what to do when you say you miss me,

So I say that is funny,

I’m sorry,

I don’t know what to do when you are in the worst time,

So I just help you get through it but not over,

But never help much, and cough myself in fire,

I’m sorry,

What I have been doing lately?

Why I’m not helping but causing,

I feel very selfish,

I feel I should totally leave this alone,

I feel………….

There is a lot of question deep down my heart,

But I don’t know what question is that,

Who is willing to find it out for me?

Argh things have been changing so fast,

I can only adapt each thing at a time,

But not all everything,

Cause I’m not born for it,

My friends have a love story,

Happy to see them happily,

Finding a beautiful angel what I’m waiting,

Is not easy, but not hard,

Angel has wings,

Aren’t they tired of flying away from you?

So they just choose to stay on ground where you flied till to,

That is our life,

Find where his or her location is,

But

There is a person which is so stupid,

Could not find the angel even is just in front of you,

Giving you a hand which will bring you up to heaven,

This is what we call human

Life, Love, and Leave

I have been paying a lot to this what we call love,

I think I should keep myself back and wait what it will come,

Living a life with no love is lifeless,

Because everyday routine you could not keep on finding the same old friend to talk about,

They might just think you are crazy,

Music could not be made in each sec to make joy for you,

Longer you heard, music will still the same,

It will never added a new key, or less,

To all people outside which have relationship,

Treasure everything you have and give everything out with no aspect of return,

That is a big bullshit,

This is a fact,

You give a lot out, what you wish is he or she to love you back,

You give out,

And you wish something to return,

This is very simple,

But,

If break ups, and you still like him or her,

You just pray and wish,

Him or Her to be happy and great with others,

But never wish anything to return,

This is a kind of love which is unexpected to have,

To everybody I have been through,

And I wish you guys that..

PEACE ^^v

Who I'm?

Feeling are should not be played,

Not know what kind of future is coming,

Just best thing to appreciate what you have around you,

Appreciate each relationship,

Appreciate every single word you said,

Even is a short sentence,

Even some word would just hurt you,

For people who know a bit of their future,

They should not do anything stupid,

That might just bring some regret,

Later in the future,

Searching a love for life,

Is not an easy job,

It take time,

To realize is it suit for us?

Love is that it?

Not everybody call said forever,

Is just a sweet word when you use to make your love goes better,

Or

To somebody forever is a heaven word which will seriously bring forever,

Is hard to find a true love,

But when you seriously found a guy which really take you for no reason,

Love you for whatever you are,

Love you by all mean,

Not just saying I love you,

But accepting who you are,

Giving out limitless but aspect a little or nothing,

Hug you so tight that just worry you flow off,

Don't take him as a elastic rubber ban,

Which will fly back to you even you left him or her?

Love a person you doesn’t care who she is,

You just love that what she is,

Love is a fascinating thing,

Past 2 year,

There was a girl treat me so good,

But I never treasure it,

Until now I only know how good she is…….. but is too late………………

What happen to me?

Today got a lot of things have happen on me, my mind start to have a lot illusion, a lot of unreal things, I don’t really like, I imagine I’m playing basketball, I dancing, I’m a killer, think what I will do if on that kind of situation. Keep on imagine all kind of things, I don’t know why,

Just now eating, my mum asked me why am I eating white rice only, then only I realize that I never pick any meat or vege, I feel that I’m start to change, I don’t know what I’m thinking at all,

Is it because of that surgeon?

Is there something behind my head?

Where the surgeon was happed,

Start to loss memory?

Or start to create memory?

I’m confuses,

I’m even asking is there even true,

I’m fear…

I think I need talk with friends……..

Who willing to help?

Down fall

Drop down to a cliff,

Deep down, dark huge cliff,

Limitless darkness,

Edgeless darkness,

Dark has eating my light,

Loss my light,

Just hope there is somebody with light,

And,

Lead me to the exit of this long lasting darkness,

Or

A rob, that I could climb out from the cliff,

And

See the sunset,

That I have waited,

Or rest on a ground plenty greens.

Unknow

You ask me to give up on you,

But I said I don’t want,

You said you like him lots,

I say I will wait,

You said okie,

I think I should leave you,

So you might not need to push me away again,

I will wait until 1 day, you pulls me back,

Left 21 days,

Then this might just be your memory,

But I don’t mind,

I just want to know you are fine,

Okie,

See you happy,

I’m fine to be your memory.

Today,

Today,

Sitting down by the laptop,

Temperature makes me feel so cold,

My mind is empty,

In a lonely box,

Staring at my phone,

Hope somebody would just SMS me,

Listening to music I have over and over again,

Finding something to do so I would not be thoughtful,

Want to SMS you,

But I don’t know will I interrupt what you are doing,

I know you don’t feel that I still in love with you,

I know I’m not the want you needed,

LIFE, is that true?

Life,

okie,

First of all,

I want to be sorry with for you if I didn't write it nicely

So don’t get mad at me,

And keep in touch okie?

Promise?

Hehe..

Okie, let’s start,

Life what is life?

Our life is so corrupted,

Life, is like a wave, ups and down,

Brings up for no reason,

But just drop like shit,

Hurting and crying,

Tears and pain,

Seeing you not like how you use to be,

Happy and joy,

But now,

Just wish I could bring you out of this mist and hold you tight,

Everything will be fine, cause I’m here.

To you specially!!

Hope to see you smile once again!!

I seriously want to see you smile once more!!

You are not meant to treat like that

Dark and White Chocolate

Hardly find a friend which like dark chocolate,

Which enjoy dark chocolate with classic music,

Just by here to say,

After lots of dry and bitter,

There is also a small and light sweetness,

If you taste is seriously,

You won’t eat much in 1 time,

But you will keep eating it,

You wish more for it until the end,

White Chocolate,

Sweet, Sweet, and sweet

For people who like white chocolate,

They can none stop eating it,

Until the end,

End up in the toilet screaming and jumping!! XP

White chocolate,

Might just go well while you eating with your soul mate, I don’t know, sweet ma~

So while you eating it you might just know how sweet and how lovely you guys are.

All i cares

I don’t know,

That you know or not,

See the words you giving me,

And the words you given me,

Two huge different,

You were once happy,

You were once joy,

Now,

You are down,

You are suffering

Mood-less,

Making me worry,

Making me want to see you more,

Make me cares you even more,

I’m willing to stay all night because of you,

I’m willing stand under a rain and let you cry at my shoulder,

I don’t know you know about it,

But I wish you understand what I’m,

I know it might too fast,

But I will hold down

Under a Mist

A long long long time under a mist,

Now only I know that you are not belong to me,

I’m being so hopeless,

I’m being so breathless,

I’m being so lovely,

Is just because I’m fool by this mist,

Which makes me only understand you bit by bit,

Only now I only fully understand that you are no longer belong to me,

And

No longer what I wanted.

Happy to found that,

Wish you are happy with the guy that will make you happy,

So now I should stand hard,

And slowly seek out truth of everything.

Ps. I’m happy at last I have let go

To the want i love, and love

I love you,

Once again I said it out,

I’m sure I’m ready for a relationship like you said,

I’m changing like you wanted

Waiting by your door,

Knocking for another chances,

Wait and wait, for a better life,

I love you deeply.

Being hurt again.....

What a fragile heart I have,

Cannot stand any spear, needle, or gun shoot,

Soon will paralyze me,

Take my feeling away,

Take my tears away,

Take my heart away,

Take my love away,

Take me again~

Am I too stupid?

Get hurt once is not enough,

Go find another person to hurt myself again?

I’m not a creature when you needed me, I will be there for you

I need somebody to be with me as well,

I don’t want to go alone,

I need you~

You know who I’m saying,

If you think I say other girl then you better get the hell of my face and think about it.

These days start to chat often with you,

Happy^^

You make my smile come back..

I will appreciate it,

What I said today morning I really mean it.

To My Flirty girl~

How sad you don’t my heart anymore,

You asked me to keep for other girls,

I’m sad,

Is this over end?

I don’t know… ><

I want you, but you don’t want me…

Haiz……….

Worst morning ever

Have the worst morning ever!!

Guess what happen after I finish my breakfast at Kota Damansara,

I vomit blood…

Not to say the food not nice,

But I vomit blood!!!!!

Omfg..

Is like having food poison and vomit all in a sudden,

Go see drama or movie,

Wow.. like acting only,

*vomit*

Need a rest and hospital for me,

Guess what doctor said to me,

Have a guess then, XP hahahaha!!!!

After that guess what I have for my lunch?

DOMINOPIZZA!!!!!!!!

With

TERMINATOR

Limited Edison cup with it!!! XP





This is the Terminator you XP









Call up the no. within 30 min will reach your door, if not the next day you will have another pizza for free!!






Hehehe.. guess where i get another glass XP

HairCut

Haha..

First day of June I when for a haircut,

Went to this monsoon ID

Have a 38 dollar haircut, done by Mr. Ben





This is the night before i have a hair cut, was in my relative house, celebrating birthday. sport out the different okie? May31





This is the next day after the cut, June 2

Having Beverage presentation,

My lect Mr. Thumb saying am i going for clubbing or something?

cause im not wear my uniform but semi formal, there goes my marks.. sobsob




second day, nothing to do at home, so dress nice, go out and pull some girls XP but end up playing dota at BZ







HAHA, look nice, right?

Don't know how do i look like with another sweater le?

hmm gone missing,

who took it?





HAHA

This look suit me,

cause im so damn lazy to wax up high. XP

Thanks BEN

A down night

Today, not happy at all, but I have gone the worst, I believe I will be fine, alright so what I thought then I pick up car key drove my parents car, out to the nearest fast food stall, McD, have a drive thru and order a Quarter Pounder with Cheese set large, this is what I having^^




So everything costs me 11.85 without counting the petrol that i got to pay(10)









this is so call what Quater Pounder with Cheese
Double cheese burger is much more better








This is the over view of my hold set supper.. 11.85









Then this my upper view of my hold set supper.. 11.85







so after eat, feeling better?

no..

Still feeling kind of down,

I really need a person with me,

Share the problem I have,

I’m willing to change because of you,

Cause I really want to hold you down back to me,

Cause I love you so deeply.

I LOVE YOU!!